Every year I look forward to Advent. When radio stations started playing Christmas music the day after Halloween, I decided to embrace it and see it as a reason to have a longer Advent. Every year I look forward to sharing my childhood memories of Advent with my students. I look forward to seeing the singing Salvation Army guy at our local grocery store. His name is John, and he mans his red bucket every year with radiance. He greets everyone with Christmas carols and blessings for a Merry Christmas. His commitment to helping others has made a lasting impression on me. Every time I go to the store I wonder how many people's day he has brightened that day. He has become part of my Advent. Without knowing it, he is helping me prepare my heart for Jesus.
This year Advent has me reflecting a lot on past Christmases, too.
Recently I was talking with a friend who was up early waiting in line to obtain that special Christmas gift for her child. I told her that one of my favorite Christmas memories was of the year I was in first grade. My parents and I made ceramic ornaments together. I'm not sure why my brother didn't make any. (Maybe it was because he was four years old at the time.) :) I remember loving the activity and cherishing the extra time I spent creating with my family. What I can't tell you is what Santa brought me that year. What I didn't know at the time was how much my parents were struggling financially. My Mom had planned the ornament activity to add some magic to our Christmas. I'm certain she and my dad sacrificed a lot of financial resources to make my brother's and my Christmas wishes come true that year. What I remember most is the invaluable time I spent with my family.
I also remember our first Christmas without my Dad. I know it took great courage for my Mom to prepare for that holiday. She gave me a glass bookcase to house my collector dolls. My Dad had always wanted to make me one, but his cancer prevented him from making a display case for me. Every time I've looked at my dolls in that case since, I am reminded of how much my parents loved me. I'm reminded of how my father fought cancer bravely and without complaining for 3 years. I'm reminded of how my Mom worked full days and spent her evenings at the hospital with my Dad. I'm reminded that the best gifts I've received in my life aren't housed in that glass bookcase.
About a month ago, I had the privilege of a quick visit with my friend from college and her son. They were beginning a week of college visits. Her son has Friedreich's ataxia, a rare form of muscular dystrophy that affects the neurological system. This condition will make it increasingly difficult for him to walk and could shorten his lifespan. What I witnessed while they stayed with me was incredible courage. My friend is determined that her son live his life to the fullest, and their whole family is invested in helping spread awareness and support for finding a cure. They are choosing to trust God as they face this together. She reminded me of the importance of facing my problems head on. I can't climb the mountain if I'm not willing to hike to the foot of it first. Without knowing, she and her son also helped me prepare my heart for Jesus.
Every morning before I go to school I pray for patience with my students. I know I'm not alone in my fear that I fall short sometimes, especially this time of year.
Teaching in a Catholic school is a privilege, and I love the extra activities we get to do. Our schoolwide prayer services on mornings we don't have Mass are something I look forward to every year. I love having the freedom to play different Christmas songs that focus on different parts of the story of the Nativity. Lately, I have wondered if I'm getting too distracted by my to do list to savor these blessings. Lately, I have wondered if I'm missing the light these special activities give to all of us.
Today is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. It's a holy day for Catholics, and we don't have school so that families are able to attend Mass. As I have had time to reflect today, I have promised myself to slow down, pay attention, and let my light shine more. My tasks will get done. They always do. My first graders will never experience Advent as a first grader again. I want them to remember decades from now that Advent at school was a special time of anticipation, joy, and light. I want them to leave first grade faith filled and encouraged.
Today also is the birthday of one of the most courageous friends I've ever had. She taught me to stand up for what I believe in, to not be afraid to take risks, and to use my gifts to help others. Her life was short, but her impact on mine remains. She fought leukemia with courage. I miss her every day.
I am beyond grateful that Tese was my mentor and my friend. Her support and love continue to impact my teaching and my life. I am stronger because I knew her. I dedicate this post to her.
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