Go to the Top of the Bleachers, Ellen

Go to the top of the bleachers, Ellen...

I didn't want to move....

They told me I had no choice. If I wanted to stay in my apartment complex I had to willingly give up my lease which ended in the summer and move the end of April.  The new owners wanted all the remaining apartments renovated by July.

I had lived in my apartment for twelve years.  I had experienced so much life in those twelve years. I had grieved the loss of both my parents during those twelve years.  I had lost two cats during those twelve years.  They didn't understand what an impossible task it would be for a first grade teacher to move with 7 weeks of school left.  I was comfortable.  I didn't want to be uncomfortable during the most challenging time of the school year.

My boyfriend, friends, and family all told me not to worry.  They told me they would help me.  They told me I would learn to love my new space.  They told me I was making room for my future.

So just like Sam I Am's friend in Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham, I decided to embrace the thing I didn't want to do.  I packed and purged and labeled every single thing I owned.  I had to face reality that I was still hanging on to too much from my parents.  I had to face reality that I needed to start digitizing some of my notes and photos.  I had to let go to move forward.  Facing my move was like choosing to try green eggs and ham.  I didn't believe I would like it, but I knew I had to try.

Just as they promised, my boyfriend, friends, and family showed up in full force to help me moving day.  They worked hard, helped me with whatever I needed, and made sure I wasn't alone until every task had been completed.  These are only some of the friends and family who showed up that day.  I even had to tell friends to not worry about coming because we accomplished more than I ever imagined we could in just 8 hours.  What was I complaining about?

My transition to my new home was a rough one, but almost a year later, I can see how making that move was the best thing for me.

I'm still purging, letting go, donating, and reorganizing.  I'm still grieving, but I'm also celebrating.  I'm remembering my parents with smiles and gratitude more often than tears.   

My new home has more light.  My new home has a fireplace and built in bookshelves.  I'm focused more on my present now.  I'm enjoying my books, movies, and music more.  My cat loves being able to see the birds in the tops of the trees.  I even have a real TV. Up until my move I had two tube TVs.  I couldn't see the point in throwing out televisions that worked. 

Now you may be wondering about the title of this blog post.  Why would I choose the title "Go to the Top of the Bleachers, Ellen"?

Recently I attended professional development for our diocese and had the opportunity to catch up with a really good friend who now works at another school in our diocese.  We were in the high school gym, and I suggested we go to the top of the bleachers to listen to the presentation.  While we were listening to the priest, I realized how powerful it was to listen from the top of the bleachers.  Not only were we better able to focus on the priest's message, we were able to see in real life high definition the collective strength of our colleagues.  Seeing that many of our teachers together reminded us that we're not alone.  I see educators (myself included) tweeting all the time that "We're Stronger Together."  Seeing all the teachers from our diocese together in one room made that concept much more meaningful for me that day.

Being a year removed from my move, I can see that I'm not alone and that my new home has fostered great growth in me.  Living on the third floor of my apartment building is like living at the top of the bleachers.  My new view and surroundings have put my life and my calling in better perspective.  I am blessed more than I realized. I have lots more to learn, but I can see how the pain of my move brought me to a much better place literally and figuratively.  I'm excited to see what the next year will bring for me personally and for me as an educator.

Go eat green eggs and ham fellow educators.  I am confident that you will be glad you did:)

As always, thanks for reading,


Ellen